Article

Getting Unmarried?


by Gail Nelson, Apr 2, 2014

When I was working with a support group for people who had recently gone through a divorce we had a woman who shared that her child asked the question: “Why are you and Daddy getting unmarried?” She had not thought of divorce in those terms before and neither had I. But from a child’s perspective, that is the heart of the matter. The process of divorce is exactly the act of getting “unmarried”. The traditional way of doing that tends to continue to hurt and upset all involved. The collaborative style of divorce seeks to provide a process that is less upsetting than the traditional divorce.

For most people, the experience of divorce is filled with upset, struggle, pain and misunderstanding about your partner and why this is happening to your marriage. We have come to assume that things have to go an expected path on the way to divorce. The Collaborative style of divorce assists you in creating a different outcome.

We have learned from experience that a divorcing couple has the capacity to make agreements about their process when they get the option to make those choices. In collaborative divorce, you are invited to sit across the table and talk about the process of getting unmarried. You will be supported by professionals with the right expertise to guide and inform you along the way. The best part of that invitation is that you stay in charge of the process and you don’t give your power away as in the traditional divorce when the process has a life of its own. If you’d like to hear more about how this process is different; give a call to a member of our team you see listed on our website. We’d be happy to tell about why we choose this as a style of process and how it has helped people get unmarried.